The Path of Thunder

Meeting Bride

2011-02-07T19:26:00.004-05:00

"Close your eyes and see yourself somewhere that makes you feel happy, you are waiting for the Goddess- enjoy your time in this space- what do you see? What do you hear? Take time to really take in this place as you wait for Bride...."

I'm sitting beside a small pool of ice cold water, there is a small bubbly waterfall filling the pool with clear, cold water. I look in and see myself looking back. The forest is wet and though bare there are sprigs of new life pushing through the crystallized snow. I put my hand into the water and the cold sends a small shock through my fingertips, Winter is still among us, holding on, but we will push through it and into the Spring. I continue to watch as the water rolls down the smooth rocks, swirling into little pools as it continues to flow from some distant lake or snaking stream. The pool is crystal clear and there is still ice around the edges of it. I raise my gaze to the clear blue sky, above me I hear and see birds flying high above the tree tops, oblivious to the cold. I continue to wait by my stream for the Goddess... I can hear footsteps is it Her? Has she finally come, I think to myself. Not this time as the footsteps belong to a lone silver furred wolf. Its green eyes intense. The animal stops for a moment and our eyes meet. Slowly the beast lowers its head as if to say hello and carries on its own journey. For a moment I wonder, if this my familiar, and I determine my animal friend is still to be found. I continue to enjoy my time of meditation and then it happens. I could feel inside my heart this warm and overpowering loving feeling. The pond began to glow with a golden hue, the animals once loud are now quiet- and then I see her. She emerges from the wood and greets me. "I am the Goddess Brighid and you are a daughter on my path." The Goddess comes and sits with me by the pool. We talk about things that have occurred this past Winter, and we discuss the future. She tells me I will begin to grow as the flowers and trees do in the Spring and she also tells me to try to find that creative spark I once had. The Goddess's face is young but stern. She is loving and kind but I fear her slightly. She is stunningly beautiful with red hair that has a golden aura. Her skin is as white as milk. I close my eyes and enjoy her, soaking in her energies.... I do not want to leave this place but I am summoned by the sounds of far off pipe music, the music is getting louder and more upbeat. I can hear pipes and drums and chanting. The music of magic is calling me to wake up, come dance and join the rest of the Imbolc Celebrations....
My mom hosted Imbolc this year. It was her first time writing a ritual herself and to be honest I was at first skeptical. I learned a good lesson that night, never assume. The ritual my mom wrote was by far one of the most personal, beautiful and effective rituals I have ever attended in my whole life. When my mother called the Goddess, I felt the Goddess. I know she was there that night. When my mother called to the Quarters the energy was there it was present. The wording flowed and everything looked so beautiful. She had us (my friend Nicole also attended) make crosses to represent ourselves and what we want help with at the crossroads of life. I made my cross and poured a lot my energy into the spell as I wove it together. It now hangs on my bedroom wall as a constant reminder NOT to let my depression control my life and to not let it ruin my romantic relationship.
Imbolc this year was really magical for me. It was not only super beneficial for me but for my best friend Nicole as well. She lost her father a year or two ago and still has not fully come to terms with her grief. She said at the ritual she finally found some peace and I think the Goddess is calling her to this path. I have never once talked to her about my faith or asked her about her's because I try to keep that aspect of my life private and I save it all for my blog lol. She said that she got a feeling at the ritual that she needs to explore more about Wicca and she wants me to teach her. I said I would teach her but I made it clear that I am more of a Pagan who flirts with the darkside but I would be happy to teach her most of everything I know.
Its interesting that my Christian-Pagan mother has managed to make someone who had no faith in anything suddenly think she found "God" or whatever you want to call it. I have not had an opportunity to really thank my mom for the spiritual experience she provided me with.
I also want to take a moment here to talk about the ritual other than the cross and the meditation. When she blessed the milk and oat cookies for Cakes and Ale my mom actually asked the Goddess to bless the food and then we prayed over it. What a nice feeling it was to share a moment with three ladies as we focused only good things onto the food and drink. The room was set up with each corner had its own altar. All the altars were beautifully decorated with items representing each element. North had a cactus plant and a spider plant, she also had stones out an a candle. East was beautiful she had eagles, birds and dragons set out on the table and many feathers that she had collected over the years. South was the most compelling altar of them all because on it she had a doll that my mom has had since she was 10. Its a Spanish dancing lady and when you look at her the first word that crosses your mind is fire. West was adorned with a vase filled with shells my mom has collected over the years at different beaches around where we live. Everything was so homey and personal. It really brought it to my level. It was amazing. I owe my mom a lot more credit than I give her and she truly is a personification of the Mother Goddess. )O(

Winter- Or Holy Shit its COLD!

2011-01-25T20:34:00.003-05:00

I really try to love Winter, I even tell some people its my favourite season, funny though I only seem to say that in the scorching heat of summer. I am currently cursing Old Man Winter for giving us this FREEZING weather, I am sorry but -37 degree C. is a little bit too cold. I am patiently waiting March's return because with March comes Spring. I tell myself all Winter, "Tasha just get to March, come on buddy, just get to March." then I put on three hoodies, mittens, two pairs of pants, a scarf and a hat to climb into my car and travel constant icy roads to work. This is just another typical Maritime Winter, but holy smokes its cold!
During all this frigid weather its hard to think that Imbolc is supposed to be a symbol of hope that Spring is coming. Its hard to think that deep down in the earth, even this very -37 moment, seeds and life is stirring, preparing itself for the coming Spring. Earth is slowly preparing and I probably should be too. I have not planned a thing of Imbolc yet because of this cold. I cannot get myself into the mindset to write a ritual about warmer weather coming. I know this isn't the only thing Imbolc is about, but to me its a pretty big deal. I have read that our ancestors, celebrated Imbolc because they needed a "pick me up" in the middle of the cold Winter season, well I sure could use a pick me up as well, and I call it rum (lol) and speaking of drinking and mirth, this is also the time of Brighid. I would love to make some candles to represent the coming light and warmth and also the inspiration of the Goddess, but due to the extremely cold weather, all shipments of beeswax have been cancelled because the wax was getting damaged from the cold. Even Michael's is against me this year. I know I will come up with something and I know that Brighid will relight those sparks of inspiration sooner or later but if she can't inspire me, at least maybe, just maybe she could talk to the weather Gods and try to convince them to turn up the heat? I gotta cut this short, but I will return with more talk of Imbolc in the coming days.
Stay warm my fellow Canucks! Stay Warm!

Circles

2011-01-25T19:44:00.002-05:00

The Gods/Faery Folk truly work in bizarre and mysterious ways...
I had pretty much given up on my faith about two years ago and since then have been searching for some form footing. Finally, as you know if you read this, I have found it. Or at least I hope I have. When I was lost amongst the worlds and trying to figure out where my soul belonged I also ended up losing contact with some people who were vital to my spirituality. Along with those precious people I also lost all of my pentacles and other Craft related jewelery, finally things are coming back full circle.
I actually believed for the past two years my ex had stolen those necklaces to pawn or to be malicious. Turns out they, like my soul were lost. I ended up finding my pentacles a few weeks ago and I am still amused that they have returned. I don't know how I did not find them in the past two years because this whole time they were in my dresser, but I swear I have been in that drawer dozens of times hunting for clothes, and how do you miss a jewellery box sitting with your socks and under-roos? Its like the faeries took them and decided that now that I am back on my path that I deserve to have them. Finding that jewellery box was a wonderful find and it is such a good feeling to once again wear my pentacles. I feel that my craft items are once again calling to me and the energy is still as alive as always. Finding these items really has helped me figure out that, hey I am a witch and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to be draped in black clothing and I don't need to hide behind some "Satanic mask" to protect myself anymore. I am not a Satanist, I am a witch and I am a proud one. Its interesting how things work out like this. Along with this I have also found something more precious, a long lost Pagan friend.
I met Paul years ago, he is the author of the book "Your Enlightened Soul" and he was one of the first "real" witches I have ever met. I met him randomly one day when he gave me a copy of his book and told me to come by his place to see his shop. I went over one afternoon and realized I really got along with this fellow. After countless conversations on the topic of the Occult we realized we were on pretty much the same page. Paul started having rituals at his home and the best thing about him, unlike other Pagans I knew at the time, Paul was not "clique" minded. EVERYONE and I mean everyone, was invited to his rites. He didn't care if you followed this tradition or that tradition or if you were even Pagan he would still open up his home to you. During my time with him he taught me many of the things I still practice to this day, the main one being non-judgemental about the choices my fellow Pagans make. I also met my future Tarot teacher, Ann at one of his famous parties. But Paul being the free spirit that he is, he ended up moving to another city and not telling anyone of his whereabouts. I lost contact and ended up spending a lot more time with Ann.
Well the other day I ended up stumbling upon Paul on Facebook and sent him a message right away, and tomorrow he is coming to visit me! He is back in town and wants to make up for the lost time, which is wonderful. Its going to be so nice to have someone of a like mind to celebrate the seasons and other festivals with. I am hoping that this will cause a ripple effect and other wonderful witches from my past will return as well. I hope to reconnect with Ann and Rowan, my sisters, from a Coven that has disappeared. It would be lovely if we all could reconnect again and celebrate our community together. Who knows what this path will bring my way?
Cheers to lost friends and objects finding their way home.
Blessings to you my readers.

Wolf Moon Healing Ritual for the Mind and Body

2011-01-19T16:55:00.002-05:00

My aunt is currently recovering from an operation and since tonight is the Full Moon, I thought what would be a better time than now to write a ritual to help aid her with her healing. Sadly due to work I will not be able to actually perform the ritual until Saturday or Sunday night but it still should be effective by then.
Full Moon Healing Ritual, January 19, 2011:
Casting Circle:
East: I call to the powers of the East Quarter. Spirits of air and all that communicates, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Yellow Candle*
South: I call to the powers of the South Quarter. Spirits of fire and all that is passionate, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Red Candle:
West: I call to the powers of the West Quarter. Spirits of water and all that is emotional, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Blue Candle*
North: I call to the powers of the North Quarter. Spirits of earth and all that is bountiful, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Brown Candle*
Call to the Goddess:
Great Mother, keeper of my secrets and those of the universe, please come and join me tonight on this cold Winter's eve. I come before you as your daughter, Vaida and ask that you fill my heart and spirit with your Ecstasy. Great Mother, share with me the energy of magick. I am your daughter as you are forever my mother. Blessed Be. *Light Silver Candle*

Magickal Working:
Needs: Blue candle, candle holder, lighter, oil associated with healing (I have premixed healing oil but you can use whatever you want, if you are interested in using this spell).
Carve the person who needs the healing's name into the candle. It is VERY important that you focus really hard and picture the person who needs the healing in your mind. See them receiving healing energy and it glowing around them. See them getting out of bed/or just moving around healthy and happy. Hold on to those thoughts/images as you hold the candle in your hands. Once you feel the energy infusing the candle place it in the holder because it is ready.
"Goddess, on this night of the Full Moon, I come to you for help. Not for myself but for another. (State the sick person's name and whats going on, in my case): Please help my aunt Donna/Lady Isis heal after her surgery. Please heal her wounds and ease her pain. Please bless her and keep her healthy and close to your heart as she is weak right now. Tonight I come before you with this simple spell so that once this candle is blessed and lit it will send healing energy to her and make her have a quick recovery. Blessed be"
Thank the Goddess in your own words.
Bless candle:
Take oil and rub in over the person's name. "I bless this candle with healing oil so that as it burns its healing properties will be sent to the universe and they will infuse Donna's spirit with their healing energies. Blessed be."
Put candle in holder and light it, either let it burn down completely or you can infuse it with new energy and re-light it daily.
"Thank you Goddess and spirits of the elements for you help with this magick. Blessed Be."
Closing of the rite:
Take time here to read the Charge of the Goddess or something you have written. Talk to the Goddess and the spirits, enjoy this time in the sacred circle. If you raised energy during the healing spell, take time now to ground it. Think of the energy that is still floating in the room, grab it into big orbs in your hands then push that energy down into the floor, though the foundation and into the ground below your home. (Where I live its FREEZING on January evenings, so this rite will 100% be inside.)
Cakes and Ale:
Hold Chalice high: "May I never thirst" take a drink and put chalice aside (pour remaining liquid outside as an offering.
Take Plate and hold high: "May I never hunger" take a cake from the plate and leave the others as an offering with the ale.
Closing Circle:
Releasing the Goddess:
"Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for coming to my side this evening and sharing with me the secrets of magick. Tonight is a celebration of your beauty and the love that you shine down upon this world. You may go if you like or stay if you please. Blessed Be."
North: Thank you spirits of the North for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Brown Candle*
West: Thank you spirits of the West for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Blue Candle*
South: Thank you spirits of the South for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Red Candle*
East: Thank you spirits of the East for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Yellow Candle*
"The circle is open but never broken, Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry Meet Again! So Mote It Be!"

Gather up your things and if you decided to let the candle burn down this evening put it somewhere safe and once it has burned all the way down, if the person you are healing is okay with it give them the candle stub, this will act as a reminder that they are loved and it will reinforce the spell. If you decided to let it burn down in parts, make sure to light it the same time everyday and to infuse it with energy each time. Then once its burned down give it to the person. If the person you are healing does not want it, or does not know you are working a spell for them then you can keep the stub yourself to remind you to send them healing vibes when you see it. Then in the Spring (once all this snow is gone!) you can bury it in your yard.

Happy Healing and Happy Wolf Moon! )O(

My Satanic Adventure- Into the depths of "darkness".

2011-01-11T20:26:00.003-05:00

As you my dear readers may know I have been studying Satanism for quite some time. I have even considered joining the First Church of Satan, but after much thought, reading countless articles and even purchasing a magazine from the Church, I have learned that perhaps that is not the place for me. I am still going to bring along on my journey the wonderful things I did learn from reading the Satanic Bible and other works by LaVey but I think my feet would be better planted on my own form of the Left Hand Path.
I have been looking for a "leader/teacher" but I have come to terms that I can be both of those things for myself and other people. I have been taking a lot of time to study the Left Hand Path and I learned a lot of very valuable pieces of information. Basically every religion has a "left hand path" version of it. In India there are Hindus who practice and inverted form of Hinduism that is all about breaking sexual taboos and finding enlightenment by breaking the strict religious/social norms. There are people all over the world like myself who truly find their inner light in the darkness and there is nothing wrong with that.
Its very nice as a pretty much solitary witch to find out it is okay that I am a little darker of a spirit than my fellow happy go lucky witches; though I don't think there is a person on this earth who isn't a little "dark at heart". Sadly there are those of us who know how to control their "darkness" and live normal lives and then there are those who don't and they let their own "darkness" build up inside until they can no longer control it, and when they decide to stop being so pompous and let it out horrible things can happen. Let me tell you a little story about someone who ran around thinking she was "so innocent and on the "right hand path"- if you will.

Once upon a time many moons ago, a very dangerous and crazy woman, who claimed to be a "connection to the Goddess herself" told me that I am a "dark witch" and that apparently I am the Pagan version of something as evil as the "Anti-Christ". Shakti which is the name of the crazy lady had a whole intervention for me. She had her friend and fellow sheep have everyone over for what *I thought* was a night to learn about the "dark Goddess" instead of learning about the "dark Goddess" she spent the whole time bashing me for believing and worshipping the darker gods. As she did this all her little "white witches" joined in heckling me and making me break down and cry about the grief I was going through at that time. She had the nerve to say I was using my grief (my uncle and grandfather passed away that year a week apart) as a scapegoat for my true evilness. The whole thing was a farce.
My point is that if you, dear reader, have found love with the dark Gods, don't EVER let anyone who thinks they are righteous because they are on the "right hand path" ever tell you, you are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being darker then your peers. There is nothing wrong with finding love and light in the blackness of the abyss.
I have shared this story before, but I think its very important for people to understand that if anyone EVER tries to convince you that what you feel and believe in is wrong, especially when it comes to our beloved Gods, don't ever let them. For a few months after that "intervention" I was left questioning myself and my choices. I wondered, what was wrong with me. Why didn't these people like me? Then I realized they were afraid because ultimately I was more spiritually connected to the Divine because I was balanced. I don't think I will mention the Shakti story after this last time, because I need to let it go and move on with my own life, but its definitely something I would like all my readers to think about. Be yourself and believe in yourself.
Love,
Vaida.

A Divine Message of HOPE

2011-01-11T18:46:00.003-05:00

Hello gentle readers! I know it has been a long time since you heard from me, hopefully *this time* I will be able to keep my word and post more often. I have to be honest, I started a new blog on livejournal but I am not computer/internet savvy enough to use it, so here I am back home on Blogger.
I am writing tonight because last night I was inspired by what I think was the Divine. I was driving to my house after driving some co-worker friends of mine home and I was thinking about how much my life has changed since Nathan left two years ago and since I left my long-term position at the funeral home. Since those life changes I have been focusing on how much my life has changed without those two things. I have never seen it as a cutting away of the negative so positive energy could thrive, I have spent way too much time dwelling on the negative. At this point in my thought process, I had arrived in my driveway and as I sat there thinking poorly about my life and how bad things were, suddenly this voice inside my head said to me, "Tasha if you would stop fabricating a perfect past you would see that you are happier now." I don't know if it was the hoot that I smoked with my co-workers or if it was the Divine or my own "inside my head" voice, regardless whoever it was they were right. I realized last night sitting stunned and cold in my Tiberon that I have been lying to myself for the past two years.
The funeral home compared to Xerox was horrible. Every Christmas at Brenan's I would have to deal with the staff/management making rude jokes about my faith. They knew my financial struggles and I always worked hard yet they would not offer me more hours. I worked my little witchy ass off there for them and never once was there a genuine thank you.
At my job now at least I get the satisfaction of hearing thank you about 60 times a day. Yes I get yelled at but at least I am appreciated. Also I can afford to live now and pay my bills. I am allowed to book Pagan holidays off here without being made fun of. One of the best things about Xerox is that I can wear as many Pentacles as I please and no one says boo to me. No more being made fun of or treated differently because here they just don't care and its wonderful.
My life with Nathan was miserable and I hated being in that relationship, but for some reason I would not allow myself to see what I would not have now if he would have stayed. I would not be in this amazingly romantic and passionate relationship nor would I have the things I have, or the car that I drive. I would not look the way I look and I know if he would have stayed by now I would be 300lbs instead of being the same weight I was in high school, like I am now. I never cared about myself and I didn't know myself two years ago. Now I know the real me, of course I am still on my ongoing journey but at least this time, I love the skin I am walking in.
Last night when I heard that voice in my head I felt an inner peace that I have not felt in a very long time. It was that same feeling when you get out of the tub and your mom has warmed the towels up in the dryer- a warm surrounded by love feeling and it was fantastic. Not only did the Divine speak to me but they/it made me feel the message and I think for once in my life, I got it.
From yesterday forward I have stopped pitying myself every time I drive past Brenan's on my way to Xerox, instead I thank the Gods for giving me a good job that is secure, where I am appreciated. When I think about times with Nathan who was a complete and total PSYCHO with a capital "P" (lol) I think about how amazingly handsome and sexy Kyle is. How good he makes me feel and how he has done more for me in the past year and a half than Nathan ever did in the 6 years we were together. By changing my thoughts I really do feel like I have changed my life. Finally.
This is the mark of a new turn of the wheel that is my life and I am so happy to be walking into 2011 with a renewed sense of hope. Hope for 2011 and beyond, hope that I will find my feet back on the path that I walked for many years and kinda got lost on; hope that I continue to do well in a mundane and psychic/spiritual sense. I would like to welcome you readers, to my 2011 blog. I think herein you will learn a lot about me and of course the Occult in its many forms. Welcome and I really HOPE you too will be able to shed the skin of the past years and embrace the light that is waiting for you.
Blessings!
Vaida

Update

2010-05-15T18:08:00.002-06:00

Well...I am not one to brag about magick, but I GOT A NEW JOB! I have been hired on at Xerox, full time, weekly pay and fairly good money, well it will be at least enough to keep me afloat and give me some spending money which is AWESOME! You know I have been working some magick and praying pretty hard to my divine parents and you know, they really do provide. Sure Xerox is definitely not my "dream job" and its not going to make me dirty rich but you know the Rolling Stones song that goes a little like this, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find that you get what you need..." well that pretty much sums up my life right now and that's perfect because I am so grateful to them and the universe for what they have given me in this life and it is so reassuring to know that ma and pa "upstairs" are still taking care of their daughter. I love Them, I love Them, I love Them!

Blessed Be and Goodnight!!

Love Always...Vaida

Happy Beltane!

2010-05-01T07:42:00.003-06:00

Happy Beltane,
Dear Readers!
)O(
I have to admit that at first I was not too excited about Beltane at all, firstly because I work for twelve hours today and tomorrow which resulted in having to pass up a Beltane celebration with some close friends and a night of "merry making" aka getting "merry" aka getting drunk with my family, all this missing out on the fun times really put a sour note on my whole Beltane weekend, but this morning, magick has come to me in a very different way. Last night all through the night I had terrible nightmares that my love was leaving me, when I woke up this morning I felt sick to my stomach and was not feeling good at all, but then once Kyle realized I was awake he disappeared into the other room and returned with a long black package. He hands it to me and says, "Happy Beltane, I know this holiday is really important to you and your religion." I open it and he got me a dozen black candy roses from the Candy Boutique! They are so beautiful I don't even want to eat them lol. I brought one with me to work because every time I see it, it reminds me about what this holiday is all about, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. He is the first boyfriend I have ever had who has gotten me a gift on this holiday and that means so much to me, because he isn't even Pagan, he is Catholic. What started out as a terrible Beltane has turned into the most wonderful day, even if I am at work and I have to work with a bunch of buffoons. I am not going to be able to do a ritual, but I am going to do a little something something, tonight with my lover whether he knows its magick or not ;).

Hope you have a wonderful holiday and Beltane Blessings to everyone.

Money Magick

2010-04-23T14:27:00.003-06:00

* Firstly when I wrote my last post, I totally forgot to mention why the title was referring to a "cauldron in the woods", I have read a lot of books where the authors have stated that many people find old cast iron cauldrons in the forest. Well I am proud to say that when I was in Red Head not too long ago visiting one of my favorite abandoned houses in the back yard I found a cauldron! Sadly rust had caused half of it to breakdown, it was still a really neat find, considering I remember the rumours as a child that there was a "Practicing Witch Cult" in the Red Head area, maybe I found one of their old pots lol. I thought it would be best to leave it where I found it so it can continue to intrigue the brave few who end up in the woods behind that spooky old house.*
Money magick, is not something I am terribly familiar with but I am going to have to get familiar with it sometime very soon. I am in desperate need of a new job and more money to survive. I have put out resumes with no luck and my current place of work has made it pretty clear that they don't want me here anymore, so I really gotta make this new job thing happen fast. I figure that since I did put out resumes, I therefore tried at least on my own, but now I find myself needing to ask my divine parents for some help and I am going to have to turn to magick. I don't think I have ever done a money spell that I can think of so this is going to be a new experience for me. I have done love, healing, grief, lust, etc. spells but never anything for my own financial gain. That is another thing that is new, working magick on myself for myself. In the past anytime I have done magick it has been for another person who needed it, so I am not 100% sure who exactly this is going to help, but man oh man I hope it does. So far I have gathered that I should do it on a Thursday when the moon is Waxing, because Thursday and Jupiter go together and they are both correspondences for money magick, I am going to somehow involve the number five, because it is the number for money/work, I might use five green candles or something I don't know. I also don't know what "Gods" to invoke for this, should I just use Nyx and Anubis, my usual deities of choice or should I ask the help of a God/dess who is associated with money, I could try to get to know them for the next few days or something. I have no idea what the moon is going to be in on Thursday, but I cannot wait for a Waxing to match up, unless is happens this Thursday. I am looking for a reception type job basically like the one I have now, but with less drama.
After a quick "Googling" I found these deities that would correspond: Anu is a Celtic Goddess of prosperity and fertility, she is seen as a Mother Earth figure. Fortuna is a Roman(?) Goddess who is often called "The Lady of Luck" and I hear she is great for anything involving finances and help with them, and the God Osiris from Egyptian mythology, but since he is also the "God of the Dead" something gives me a bad feeling about contacting him about this issue. As soon as I read Fortuna's name, I felt that familiar "punch in the stomach" feeling when I discover God/ddesses who would work well with me, so I think maybe this was a good time to find her. I am off to do A LOT more research on her, and hopefully she will help me out with this whole thing.
Until next time, Blessings and Love )O(
PS I just realized the FULL MOON is Thursday *squee* how could THAT be more perfect.

A Cauldron in the Woods

2010-04-17T11:06:00.002-06:00

Lately, it is safe to say that I have been feeling very disconnected from my faith. I have been finding myself losing interest in everything "Occult". This whole transition, has indeed made me very sad, because for the longest time, my religion (whatever you want to call it) has been a major part of who I am as a person. I miss those days when I woke up in the morning, greeted the sun, or went outside and actually felt the presence of the divine ringing and vibrating in my bones, almost as if part of my soul remembered the old times, when Paganism/ Occult thought was common, or when I went to sleep I would pray to the Goddess and the moon, now I just lay there. I am not saying that I can't greet the sun, or that I can't pray to the Goddess, I know they are listening, but honestly, right now I don't have it in my soul to do it. I am so turned off of "Wicca" or whatever you want to call it at the current moment. There was a ritual that I attended and they made my CATHOLIC boyfriend call a quarter, this has insulted me to my core, because as a Pagan/Wiccan/Satanist/Whatever I don't think it is fair to make a non-occult minded person take part in any occult activity whatsoever. I am so pissed (sorry) about this that I could SCREAM. The worst part about all this is that it was two of my close friends, who I thought were a lot smarter that did this. The whole ritual was so chaotic and the energy was awful, I couldn't focus, I had the heebie-jeebies, and I just wanted to go home. None of my Gods were present that night, I can tell you that. Never have I been in a circle where the energy felt like those uncomfortable shocks that you get from your car door in the Winter. Things were not legit and afterwards, I feel like I am still dealing with the psychic aftermath (do I sound crazy yet?). Ever since things in regards to spirituality have been chaos. I feel really disconnected from my own soul. I have never felt so lost in my life and I am not too sure how to get my spirit back. See the topic of having people who aren't Pagan participate in ritual has been something I have been dealing with since I started having rituals, and every single time in the past, regardless of where the ritual has been or who it was hosted by, the non-pagans, were always asked in a few days advance if they would be comfortable reading a passage or invoking something, NEVER in my life prior to Ostara, have I seen a non-pagan feel uncomfortable or look afraid. I seen both these things on my Christian boyfriends face that night. Before that ritual, he always had a slight interest in my faith and has even said that he could see how people follow the "old ways" and he said it sounds like something he might want to learn about someday. NOW he is put off of the whole thing, and can I blame him? That would be the same as if he took me to church and made me take communion, so I would fit in. I would be OUTRAGED and I'm so disgusted that, that exact same thing has occurred within a Pagan circle. Wow. I have not even talked to M. or J. since the incident, I will don't get me wrong, but I will never bring Kyle to another ritual again. This is really sad because this was his very first introduction, into what "I" do... I want to somehow show him what it is that I practice and how I am not like them, but honestly I am scared to even bring the subject up to him, I did apologize and explained that should have NEVER happened but I don't think it is going to matter. Its really sad readers, really, really sad. Not only is Kyle put off but this has really turned me off as well. I am going to do my best to try to fix all this, within myself, but there is nothing I can do to fix his first impression. I just really want to feel really spiritual again, I miss those days so much. I miss meeting monthly with my Sisters, Rowan and A., I miss all those laughs we shared around A.'s big table and learning about the cards I have come to love. I miss the outside rituals with my friends, I miss the festivals, the fun and the community. Once again, it seems, I have found myself alone on this path, it is like I am destined to be solitary, but I really don't want to be. The one thing I miss about church is the sense of community and I found since I found myself on the Pagan Path, I have been alone 75% of the time. I want to get a new group together, I have a friend who has a little occult shop here in the city and she said I could host there and I mentioned a book club, in which she responded that she could get the books for a really good price etc. I want to embark on this journey but I am going to need help. I have to write up an email to TL tonight letting her know my plans and then I am going to invite people, only mature, Pagan/ Spiritual/ Open Minded Women who are not crazies so far that list consists of maybe five to six people...sadly. I haven't told anyone or sent out any invites as of yet, but they shall come, I hope. I feel like a hypocrite attempting to make this group happen because of my lack of faith, but I am hoping that if I could get with a group of like minded people then maybe, just maybe something could happen that might relight that flame that I miss. I thought practicing with M. and J. would be a good thing, but they are on a whole totally different path than me. I think that is all for now though I might be back a little later on.
Blessings and all that Jazz!

Happy Ostara!

2010-03-21T09:14:00.003-05:00

Well it is that wonderful Spring time of year once more! I know that yesterday was technically the actual date of Ostara, but I am celebrating with my friends today. The Winter has taught me some really good lessons this year and I think that I did actual spend the Winter months on an inner-journey and I am pretty impressed with the results. What I am talking about is that in the Winter I started walking so when Spring time came I would be more lighter and able to get out and enjoy the weather more and Spring fashion lol. I did succeed in my task and so far I have lost between 10-15 lbs and I feel awesome! I am going to continue this journey right into the Summer months in hopes of being able to actually wear a bathing suit at the beach. These walks have allowed for me to have an hour of meditation every Mon-Fri and the difference in my body, health and moods has been phenomenal! My wishes for the Spring are to enjoy the outside even more and to continue my walking meditations and to of course be the best woman I can be to my man and my community, and I know I am going to do it.
This Ostara, is going to be VERY DIFFERENT than any other holiday I have celebrated with my friends because this time my boyfriend, who happens to be quite Catholic, is tagging along, so that is going to add a whole new energy to our circle. Needless to say I am terrified of the idea of my boyfriend seeing me in a circle, like I don't know if he is either going to come away thinking that he just experienced his first real religious experience or he is going to think we are all a bunch of nutters! Shall be interesting if nothing else. Then after the ritual we are going to have a big feast, consisting of ham, scalloped potatoes, veggies with holondase sauce, and a green salad, then for dessert I made a Vermont maple cheesecake, which I think is going to be AWESOME, I just gotta remember to bring the maple syrup to garnish it, kind of a fall dish lol, but that's alright. I think we might be decorating eggs as well, which is hilarious!
I don't know how you are celebrating dear readers, but I hope you have a wonderful Spring day!

It's That Time of Year...again sigh

2010-03-06T13:37:00.003-05:00

Well folks, even though we are still getting the odd "snow storm", Spring is indeed in the works, and with Spring comes SPRING CLEANING! Oh I bet you can just hear my excitement ringing in your ears! Okay...I doubt Martha Stewart or those women from "How Clean is Your House?" are reading this blog, so I think it is safe to say that I REALLY HATE cleaning; well hate is a pretty strong word, lets just say no one really likes cleaning their house, but we all have to do it. Also I am talking about actually cleaning your house, not just keeping it tidy and ignoring that giant dust bunny under the couch that will end up eventually growing legs and eating your cat; I am talking about cleaning everything, like kitchen cupboards, dusting EVERY surface, mopping or vacuuming under the couches, tables and beds, and of course cleaning out those catch-all drawers, or in my case rooms. I am also talking about cleaning out your magickal cabinets, and temple rooms (how I miss mine!). To make it all a little easier I came up with this handy little "House Cleaning Ritual" to help you and I with our Spring Cleaning, because remember we are all in this together *smirk*. I am going to include at the bottom of this post some links to sites with helpful housecleaning hints and MY personal recipe for the best Mac 'n Cheese EVER, just because everyone deserves a nice dish of comfort food when they are all done their hard work. :)
House Cleaning Ritual by Vaida LaVey
Step One: Put on some music and do a full cleaning of your house, strip sheets, turn over mattresses, dust every surface, vacuum, sweep, mop, sort through your "junk" throw away old things you no longer need or donate them to a charity, just get it the hell out of your house! Once your place is smelling and looking squeaky clean, lets move on to the next step!
Step Two: Once your house is clean, go to your swanky, shiny, almost like new kitchen and cook yourself up a dish of Vaida's Mac 'n Cheese or any comfort, must be extremely fattening recipe of your choice. You can now think to yourself who is important enough for you to invite over to a "House Blessing Rite" and potluck, or you can just do this on your own, totally up to you. If you do decide to do the guest thing, then when you are inviting your friends over ask them to bring some tasty food and a small item that represents them, that they can leave at your house, examples would be: shells, rocks, stones, amulets, wood, statues, feathers, art etc. anything that your guest thinks would represent them well. You are obtaining these items so you can keep them and that way the energy of your loved ones will always be in your house, which adds a very nice touch to the flow of things, that is for sure!
Supplies You Will Need for Step Three: Bowl of water that has been blessed and salt (table or sea...I am not fussy), smudge stick either sage or sweet grass, but again I am not fussy, if incense is more your thing than use it; blessing oil, this one could be tricky, because it really should be something you blended yourself, but lets face some facts here people, we are not all Scott Cunninghamish people and most of us do not have hundreds of essential oils to choose from, so if you have some pick the ones you like most and make sure to blend it with a carrier and think cleansing, positive thoughts as you mix it, or if you have none around just grab some oil from the kitchen, maybe some olive or grape seed, see what you have and give it a whirl!
Step Three: Start at your front door or the porch, wherever it is that people most frequently use to get in and out of your house, basically go around your house in a clockwise direction from room to room. If you have guests ask them to help you by smudging all the rooms by sprinkling the water and wafting the smoke around the rooms. Make sure to get all windows, doors, computers, tv's, radios etc. also make sure to get in the corners-high and low; furniture etc. You are pretty much sprinkling or smudging EVERYTHING in your house, within reason, I am pretty sure if you forget a corner no demons are going to turn you into the little girl from The Exorcist, so just do your best and that will work. Now a lot of Pagans, well Wiccans I know or used to know, loved to sing little chants as they did this. Now, I on the other hand don't really jive to that tune and I prefer to just think about the negative energies leaving and good ones coming, but if chanting is your thing, then sing your heart out my witchy friends!
Step Four: As you are making your rounds all over the house, make sure YOU take the blessing oil and bless each and EVERY windowsill and doorway, or anything that you think needs an extra touch of protective bliss. Trace with your finger the shape of the pentagram or other symbol that means, protection, to you. This will protect your home from those astral nasties and negative people in general. Again you can chant your heart out or just have your mind in the right place. Now that you are technically done the cleansing, banishing etc. you might want to open some windows to let the smoke carry all that old spiritual/emotional gunk outside and far away from you and your love shack.
Step Five: If you decided to have people over you can now ask them to adore you with the gifts, your awesome self deserves, just ask everyone to place their item in a clear glass bowl, or something and put it where you and others will see it. This will act as a reminder of the ritual and also as a reminder that you do have friends etc. who care about you. OR if you opted to go this venture alone, buy yourself something nice for the house or make something that way every time you see it you will be reminded of how totally cool you are and what good taste you have; well that and the whole reminder of the ritual ;).
By this point, you and your guests are probably going to want to dig into some grub so take out your Mac 'n Cheese or whatever and enjoy making some new positive memories and sending tons of positive helpful energy all over your house.
Vaida's Mac 'n Cheese:
You will need: 1 large-ish block of medium or old Cheddar cheese, I use medium, milk or cereal cream depending on how much fat you want to gain ;), butter, crackers, salt, pepper, macaroni noodles and flour.
To Make:
First thing is you want to grate two cups of cheese and crush about 1/2 cup of crackers (if you like them), set both of these aside. Start boiling your water and two heaping cups of macaroni noodles, salt the water. Melt 4 tbs of butter in a medium sauce pan on low heat; once this melts stir in 4 tbs of flour (this makes the thickening for the sauce) remove from heat, add about 1/2 tsp. of salt (or more if you like it) and about 1/4 a tsp of pepper to the flour/butter mix. Then you take your milk or cereal cream (sometimes I do half and half) and you want to almost bring it to a boil, it should be smoking hot, but not boiling then pour your hot milk into the sauce pan with your butter/flour mix-keep this milk mixture on low heat until it starts to thicken, remove from heat once it begins to thicken up. Once it has thickened SLOWLY (and I cannot stress that enough) slowly add your cheese and stir it constantly, this will make your cheese mixture. Drain and dry your macaroni and coat the pasta in your cheese sauce. Your oven should be preheated to 350 degrees. Grease a large casserole dish and bake your Mac 'n Cheese for about 20-25 min or until it is bubbly. If you like them add your crackers to the top of the dish before putting it in the oven, or if you do not like them you can use crushed potato chips, breadcrumbs or nothing at all.
Enjoy!
Also here is a link for tips on how to clean pretty much anything: http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifehack/150-tips-and-tricks-on-cleaning.html

Helpful Dewy Decimals

2010-03-06T13:20:00.004-05:00

I gotta say out of all the places in this "beautiful" city, one of my favorites is the library. I love to go there and look at all the books and see which ones I want to take home etc. I have had success finding our local Occult section at the Main Branch Library uptown, but I still could never find the other "Occult" books my Pagan friends have claimed to have found there. Then I learned the mystical and magical ways of the "Dewy Decimal System" and that these little gems are not categorized by "theme" they are categorized by these decimals, so therefore I went and did some research. On the site http://www.witchvox.com/ I found an article by a man named Josephus, from England, who oddly enough I know from a forum I frequent, any-who I decided to take a copy of these numbers and put them on here for my readers to see. I can't take any credit for this, so when you are at the library finding all those hidden, very cool gems, don't thank me, please thank Josephus from Brownhills, England.
133.4- Demonology & Witchcraft
133.4- Spells Curses and Charms, which gets broken down to: 133.44-Love Spells & Charms; 133.442- Good Luck Spells & Charms; 133.446- Therapeutic Spells & Charms
203.3- Public Worship & Other Practices of Witchcraft
292- Greek & Roman Religions
293- Celtic & Germanic Religions
299- Other Religions *Great catch-all of many books referring to Neo-Paganism.
299.31- Ancient Egyptian Religions
299.94- Religions based on modern revivals of Witchcraft- including Wicca.
345.420288- Criminal Law & Witchcraft
398.2- Myths and Legends
398.2089916- Celtic Mythology
398.3- Folklore
Well folks those are the numbers, so if you ever head out to the library, hopefully these will help you on your quest! Happy Reading and Bright Spring-ish Blessings!

Looking Towards Ostara

2010-03-02T17:18:00.002-05:00

Ostara is just around the corner and I gotta say I am really looking forward to this Sabbat, because it is one of my favorites. With Imbolc being as quiet as it was, I want Ostara to have a little more "pep" or should I say "peep" :p! This year I am going to invite my aunt and my aunt only over for a little something, something. I am looking into buying some beeswax sheets from Michael's, as long as they have brought them in, because oddly enough they don't sell them in Winter; any-who I am going to make a hoard of Spring coloured candles. I like the beeswax sheets because as long as you have a piece of cardboard, wicks and a hairdryer you are good to go with this easy art project. I like to take the sheets and cut them in different lengths because it allows you to make all sorts of candles, though I have had the most success with tapers. I know I probably should have made candles on Imbolc, but oh well, I never was a "stick by the rules" Pagan, and I am not going to start any time soon lol. I was also reading about making these "Eggs on Strings"- I wish I had a prettier or more Martha Stewartish way to describe them, but basically you take an egg, poke a hole in the bottom and the top, blow out the contents (make a wish when doing this), wash the egg, bouge (decorate) the egg however you want, and then you take a string or ribbon and basically make an egg "necklace" and then you have yourself some swanky eggs on a string that you can hang up, or hang outside on a tree Ostara morning, and you can hang a few together, then as the March winds blow the eggs will break releasing your wishes to the universe. I think that I am definitely going to give that a whirl, I think my aunt and I could have a lot of fun putting those little beasts together. As for a ritual I am at a total loss...I do have a whole library full of Paganism/Wicca/Occult books full of rituals, and I have Books of Shadows full of rituals I have written in the past, but I am just not 100% sure what exactly the message this year is that I want to convey. When I think about Ostara I think about things like: eggs, rabbits, youth, freedom, playfulness, the Spring, the God growing stronger and the Goddess growing more and more radiant, I think of wild animal energies and the feelings that childhood memories bring up, I think of going outside and enjoying nature etc. so I guess I am going to have to take all of those feelings and somehow write a ritual around them, which I can totally do, as long as I am motivated to actually sit down and write something legit.
Also with this Sabbat comes feelings of "spring cleaning", which is something I am going to do with A LOT of my Books of Shadows, see when I was with my ex we shared our books and now that we are not together, my books are full of his writing, ideas, art etc. and I just need to get it all out of there, tomorrow *crosses fingers* I am going to go through them and throw out anything with his writing on it or re-write it myself. I am also going to put into action the whole plan of making my house more witchy and going through all my tools, books, herbs, oils, incense etc. and I am going to throw out or donate whatever I no longer need. I am like one of those hoarders that you see on tv when it comes to witchy things, and it really needs to stop. I have shelves upon shelves of things I no longer need, so hopefully it will all find a good home :).
Well my darling Readers, that is all for now, and if I do not post before Ostara, I wish you all a very happy and blessed holiday! I hope the Ostara Hare finds you all. :)

Imbolc Blessings

2010-02-06T15:59:00.002-05:00

It is a bit late, but Happy Imbolc to You! I hope everyone has a special Imbolc in one way or another. I had a great one, and it ended up being the complete opposite of any of my plans, which worked out to be really neat. I originally planned to do a ritual and I invited some friends over for, then I got invited to build a wax castle as an Imbolc craft, and that being way cooler than what I planned, I switched my ritual to go with the candle craft, but then the candle craft got canceled due to work schedules at the hosts house, so we ended up from too many plans to no plans. So my boyfriend (oddly enough) suggested that we go out to dinner and invite one of our friends whose schedule was still free. So instead of doing a ritual or craft I ended up going to Jake's Steakhouse and enjoyed a wonderful meal with one of my best friends and the love of my life (at the current at least :p) What a magickal evening, indeed. Then I went home and well....that's for my other blog. The next day one of the hosts of the candle night stopped in to spend a few hours visiting and we had some really great conversations, and I could not help but think that the Goddess Brighid must have been present, because I still seem to feel her essence and I can't stop thinking about her since the Sabbat. Imbolc for me is a really important Sabbat because it appears at a time in the wheel when things are so cold and gloomy where I live and it really does give me hope for the coming Spring. It is all about hope to me. When I think of Imbolc the first words that always come to mind are: hope-for the coming Spring, because though it is still cold we are reminded that in the Earth things are growing; renewal- this is the time to start thinking of the changes you want to make in your life when the weather gets warmer; and green- how odd, to think of the colour green when everything is blanketed in white, but green once again, at this time of year, brings us back to the first word, hope, because before we know it, there will be buds on the trees that will turn to beautiful shades of green, that in turn will go, crimson, orange and bright golden yellows; this is the wheel and we are all spinning around with it. So once again, whatever it was that you did, I hope it made you feel good and give you some hope and that it reminded you that before long, we will once again be dancing barefoot under the stars, or at least lazing around at the beach. ;)

Blessed Be!

I'm Still Kickin!

2010-01-29T18:16:00.003-05:00

Just to let my very few readers know, I am indeed still alive and still living the "magickal life" I just haven't been doing anything of importance to write about. I am going to be doing a tarot reading over at my friend's "New Age/ Spirituality" shop over on the North End, Monday I am hoping. I was supposed to go over there today but with the little storm we had I decided it was best to just stay home before I had to go to work. I haven't been feeling 100% mentally, spiritually or physically as of late and I am hopin' to get that spark back soon. My Roman Catholic boyfriend said an interesting thing the other night, he said he was really interested in Pagan faiths etc. because to him, worshipping or respecting Mother Earth, "just makes sense"! Well no dah, my love! This somewhat-sorta excites me because it was really nice before when my significant other was of my faith because it did make things a lot easier, but I am not going to do any attempts to convert the man, I will just wait and see where his soul leads him. I guess he told his parents about my religious choices and they seem really cool with it so that is also a breath of fresh air. In my last relationship my "other" was terrified of his parents finding out what faith he was and he would never tell them I was a Wiccan (thats what I was at the time) even though after awhile they figured it out. It was horrible living like that and at least now I don't have to hide who I am. I do hope that K. told his parents that I am Pagan and not a Satanist. Don't get me wrong I am very proud to incorporate Satanism into my personal Pagan beliefs but Satanism, or Satanist are very strong words and I would rather them not be used when talking to the very devote Catholic in-laws! Speaking of Satanism, I spent a good hour defending the Satanic faith the other night on Facebook of all places. This random Thelemic added me and started talking to me about religion, and as soon as I mentioned that I enjoy reading Anton LaVey's writings, though I have to take him with a grain of salt, I still find him very interesting and someone I could learn a lot from. Well this random internet stranger went right to town on me, about how I am dabbling in dark arts, okay first thing is first, I have been practicing the Occult Arts for the past twelve years, I am far from a dabbler of any means, secondly, I have been studying and exploring the "dark arts" since I was around seven years old, believe it or not. I know what I am talking about and I am aware of all the consequences that go along with it, and guess what, most of those "consequences" are put in place by people too afraid of that aspect of witchcraft that they do not want other to explore it either. This guy went right to town telling me all about how I am going down a wrong road by listening to anything LaVey has to offer, excuse me? You are in fact a follower of Aleister Crowley, now...Mr. Crowley was no saint and he and LaVey share a lot of common themes, so why does it matter who I identify with? Crowley went as "The Beast" for gods' sake, please do not get upset because I like one more than the other! He told me that the Satanic Bible was full of hate, this is not true. There is a perfect balance in that book, and if that book is meant for you to understand, I think you too will see it. The Satanic Bible, for me all was about love, self love and respect for others, but most importantly love and respect for yourself. It is about being proud of who you are and yes, if someone is an idiot towards you, LaVey encourages you to stand up for yourself and take care of your own problems on a human level and a magical level. This guy just kept preaching to me about the evils of Satanism, but he totally missed the point of Satanism, which is all about balance! Not only that but one thing I have learned about religion or the occult is that balance really is key to success and happiness, therefore I balance my spiritual life, I do indeed, enjoy Satanic literature and ritual etc. but I also enjoy a lot of Wicca and Wiccan literature. I find it funny how Wiccans and Satanists don't like each other, because personally, I think when you blend the two of them you have a religion of perfect balance. A lot of Wiccan get upset about the whole "Satan worship" aspect, but Satanist do not worship Satan anymore than Wiccans do! There is no "Satan" he is a great idol and someone to look up to, but thats it. I worship the same Gods that I always did, Nyx and Anubis and you know what, after studying Satanism, I have an even closer relationship with them because I can celebrate their dark aspects without fear etc. I feel bad for this internet stranger, who is limiting himself so much by having such a closed off mind.
That's all for today! Have a very Blessed Imbolc if I am not here before then!
♥Vaida

Harassment

2009-12-18T18:40:00.003-05:00

Harassment, is a word I thought I had put behind me, until the past few days at work. I am an open Pagan, this is true, as a matter of fact right now I am at work and around my neck is a dark blue pentacle pendant, that my friend gave me for Yule. I am very proud to wear the symbol of my faith, and it is rare that I ever have any problems with wearing it, my point though is that I do not hide the fact that I am Pagan. I am not ashamed of my faith and normally I never have any problems at all. I am a big believer to never talk about your religion unless you are asked, then I answer honestly. Many moons ago my Assistant Manager asked me if I was Pagan because we were having a conversation about places we wanted to see, and I mentioned going to Salem someday. Well he then replied with, "Oh so you are one of those heathen, witch people?" I told him that I was a "Practicing Pagan, and I do not like the term Witch." We had a little chit-chat (this was WAY back in 2007) and I learned he was a strict Baptist, so at the time I brushed everything off as just ignorance. Then last week, he asked me, "as a god-hating heathen, are you getting a Christmas tree?" I replied, "Yes, us "heathens" do still have trees, because the Christmas tree is actually of Pagan origins, therefore, it is actually a non-Christian tradition." I tried to explain that Christmas trees started with the Pagans in Europe who cut down a tree as sacrifice and then brought in inside and decorated in honour of the newborn sun god. This was a very uncomfortable conversation to be having in the first place, because I felt like no matter what I said I would be accused of being wrong. He just walked away after telling me that I shouldn't have a tree because I don't believe in Jesus. I promptly went on the Internet and printed about five pages worth of "Christmas traditions that were "borrowed" from the Pagan people and used by the Christians." It was full of information and I put a little note saying, "this is to educate you, please do not take offence!! :)" I then put it in my Assistant Manager's mailbox. I am really getting tired of this non-sense. R. has been pretty quiet with any comments towards my religion since I gave him his "information package."

Today though was another story. I was asked by my b**** co-worker Kate, whom I cannot stand, if I was done my Xmas shopping. I told her that I am not buying presents this year for my family and friends because I don't have the money and I since I do not believe in the same beliefs as my family, I am just going to "skip Xmas" this year and celebrate Yule with my Pagan friends and family instead. WELL this started a whole big issue. I guess one HAS to celebrate Xmas because it is the most important holiday of the year. I learned today that saying Xmas isn't the holiday for you, it is like saying you hate Jewish or black people, a big no no. Oops? Another a-hole co-worker of mine then claimed that I should be forced to work Xmas day and Boxing Day because I am not Christian. Excuse me? Who gives you the right to say something like that. I may not be celebrating, I may not like the holiday, but you cannot tell me I have to work and not see my family and ill grandmother because I do not believe in Christ. I guess according to Adam, I should not be allowed a Christmas tree or presents because I am a Pagan. I never asked for their opinion on anything. I simply said, I am celebrating Yule instead this year...oops? He also went on that it isn't very fair to my boyfriend because he is Catholic and I am Pagan and therefore I guess his Xmas is tainted because I am in league with Satan or some bullshit. Once again dear readers, I do not go on about my faith, I do not mention my faith to anyone unless asked, and when I was asked about Xmas I decided to me honest. I am a "hypocrite" because I am putting up an Xmas tree with Kyle (once again the ignorance about the traditions of Xmas are evident) and because I am not getting people presents but I am receiving gifts. My family has been told that they do not have to give my anything this year, so therefore, if they do that is their business. I am baking sweets for my cousins, aunt, uncles and my parents and grandparents, it isn't like they are going empty handed! To me spending time making them cookies and squares is something much more personal and I am going to add lots of Kitchen Magick in there as well. :) I just get really tired of people sometimes. If I was Jewish and celebrating Hanukkah everyone would be "pussy-footing" around me, but because I am Pagan, suddenly it is okay to discriminate. I never thought as an adult, working in a "professional funeral home" I would have to defend myself so often. I do not ask to be harassed, I do not put myself out on the line to be harassed. I do not drape myself in pentacles and request that everyone only call me Vaida, while I sprinkle magickal glitter all around the office. I dress and look like everyone else, I just don't celebrate the almighty, holy, Hallmark holiday of Xmas. *sigh*

Full Moon Magic

2009-12-07T14:11:00.003-05:00

I haven't had a chance to post about the full moon ritual I attended on December 2, 2009. I put it out into the universe that I really needed a little ritual pick-me-up, and I got a phone call from my good friend Matthius, and I was invited to a Full Moon Ritual at his house. It was a very magical evening. He had the altar all decorated in celestial cloth, and then in the middle was a huge scrying bowl filled with water he dyed black and floating on the surface was star candles. We sat and read many passages, and put our thoughts and needs out into the world for the Goddess to hear. I cannot go into detail about the ritual out of respect for those there, but it was truly a beautiful evening. I got to read the Charge of the Goddess, and being the only female present, it was a nice feeling to represent the divine feminine. Also being around all the wild energy of the God, was really neat too. I really like male circles! Well that and you get to spend your evening gazing at very handsome men, is always an added bonus! I am thanking the Gods, for such a lovely evening, and it proves if you ask them with the right intentions they usually listen.
I am hoping to get people to my house for a little Yule celebration as well.
Blessings!

December Full Moon

2009-11-27T18:09:00.004-05:00

The full moon of the month of December falls on December 2, 2009, this year. This moon is called the "Cold Moon" or "Long Nights Moon", today is November 27, which means I have five days to plan a ritual around this moon and do it. I was planning on doing a group ritual that night and invite some lovely witches I know over for a little ritual, but since I am going to be working I am just going to post the ritual here and then do it by myself, because it is now of a solitary nature I have changed a lot of the wording so here is what I wrote:

Opening, Welcome and Circle Casting:

"Tonight, on the night of the Cold Moon, I come as a child before the Gods and Goddesses of old to share a ritual to celebrate the coming darkness of Winter. During this time of darkness many of your children feel lost and alone because our world is no longer cast in light. I come before you on this magical evening in hopes of understanding why this dark time is necessary, and so I can enjoy the dark instead of fearing it, as I cast this circle, I ask your presence here with me, my divine parents. *Light Goddess and God Candle*

At the East Quarter: "Spirits of the East, and of the cold Winter wind's chill, please come and join me in my circle tonight as I celebrate the Cold Moon. So Mote it Be."

At the South Quarter: "Spirits of the South, your fire tongues remind me of warmer times as you burn in my heart in the darkness, please join me in my circle tonight as I celebrate the Cold Moon. So Mote it Be."

At the West Quarter: "Spirits of the West, the Quarter of Death and Rebirth, oh mischievous Jack Frost, who paints pictures on windows with ice, please come and join me in my circle tonight as I celebrate the Cold Moon. So Mote it Be."

At the North Quarter: "Spirits of the North, ghosts of the once fertile, now snow/frost covered earth, please awake from your slumber, and join me in my circle tonight as I celebrate the Cold Moon. So Mote it Be." *As you go around the circle you can light candles or add things that remind you of each element, really whatever makes you feel connected to the Quarters.

At the Goddess and God Candles: "My Divine Mother and Father please join and guide me tonight, as I work this magic in honour of you. Blessed Be." *Spend some time thinking about the divine and how they have guided you through Winter's past and how they will continue to hold your hand through the dark and into the light.

Magic: When you are ready sit comfortably in your circle, cast in fire light. At this time you are going to focus on the coming light. On small pieces of paper write goals, dreams or whatever you wish to accomplish throughout the winter months that you can work towards in the Spring. (Ex: my winter goal this year is to write a book and have it ready to be edited by a professional in the spring/summer.) After you have then written down hold your little dreams in your hands and really concentrate on them, ask the Gods, spirits etc. to help you achieve these and when you are ready light them on fire and place in them a fire safe dish or cauldron. Set them aside.

Now when you are ready it is time to focus on the darkness and the inside of who we are, our shadow sides. This time take a large bowl full of warm water and set it in front of you. Close your eyes, blocking out the light and place your hands in the water. Feel the warm/cooling, wetness and think of it as the Mother's Womb, where you grew in a dark, and as an adult you can still grow in the darkness, as you are meditating, think of all the positive things about the cold months and all the wonderful things about darkness and our shadow selves. Visualize everything that you want to change about yourself leaving you and going into the water, where they will grow and change into something positive etc. When you are ready dry off your hands, and thank the Gods once more.

Closing the Circle: Take your cake and hold it above your head and say: "Please bless this cake so that I never hunger, and may all the people of the world have warm bellies while the cold wind blows. Blessed Be."

Take your Ale and hold it above your head and say: "Please bless this ale so that I never thirst, and may all the people of the world have something warm to drink during the cold months of the year. Blessed Be." *Eat and drink whatever you have made yourself for your "cakes and ale".

At the North Quarter: "Spirits of North and Earth, thank you for sharing your energies with me and please continue to guide me through these darker months, thank you, you are released."

At the West Quarter: "Spirits of West and Water, thank you for sharing your energies with me and please continue to guide me through these darker months, thank you, you are released."

At the South Quarter: "Spirits of South and Fire, thank you for sharing your energies with me and please continue to guide me through these darker months, thank you, you are released."

At the East Quarter: "Spirits of East and Air, thank you for sharing your energies with me and please continue to guide me through these darker months, thank you, you are released."

At the Goddess and God Candles: "Mother and Father, thank you for joining me in this celebration of darkness and remembering the light. Please continue to tend to the flame that will always burn in my soul reminding me of warmer, happier times. Please help me in seeing all the goodness that the mysteries of twilight holds. Thank you for always holding my hands. I love you. You are welcome to leave or stay, Blessed Be."

"The circle is open but never unbroken, merry meet, merry part and merry meet again, so mote it be."

Take the ashes and combine them with the water in the bowl, pour the contents outside, if you have a garden that would be a great place.

Notes: If you wish during the magic parts you can chant, sing, or do anything to raise energy before. Materials needed: Candles or representations for the Goddess, God and Four Elements; cauldron or fire safe bowl, bowl of warm or cold water, paper, cake and ale items, towel to dry your hands with. I never use a wand or athame to cast a circle, but that doesn't mean you can't. Sometimes I have great success with a broom.

Written by Vaida LaVey, AKA Natasha Thiemann (Use it but please don't steal it!) )O(

I am really looking forward to doing this little ritual at some point on December 2. It is a little tough to do rituals at home these days because my boyfriend is a Roman Catholic who doesn't really fully understand his witchy girlfriend and this makes ritual a little odd at my house, so I guess I will have to figure something out, the weather being as wonky as it is, I may be able to venture outside. There is also a blue moon in December on the 31st, which I think is really neat to have a blue moon fall on New Years. The last blue moon I celebrated was on a beach with a load of friends and we made a HUGE Pentacle out of stones on the beach it was a beautiful evening and very magical, I think it will be impossible to arrange a blue moon ceremony this year with all the New Year celebrations going on. Any who I should be working so I am going to be going. Blessed Be!!

Praying to all the Gods

2009-11-05T22:33:00.001-05:00

My grandmother and I have one thing in common that I don't know anyone else does. When we get sick we pray to EVERYTHING, growing up I have heard my nan pray to: Mary, Jesus, the Holy Ghost, God, Anubis, Satan, Goddesses, Yahweh (or however you spell it), Allah etc. and I do the exact same thing. Last night in the height of my fever I found myself praying Catholic and Pagan prayers begging for whoever was listening to please ease my pain, oddly enough the fever subsided, so maybe my nan is on to something lol.

Blessings and stay healthy!

What a Blessed Samhain!

2009-11-01T21:10:00.002-05:00

Samhain was yesterday and I must say it was one of the best Samhain's I have experienced in a long time. I spent the day with my friends and then when they all left I just came home and cleaned the living room and lit all the candles, I spent some time just enjoying my home and my decorations, it was really nice. I have a five tiered candelabra so I lit the four bottom ones and then lit the top on inviting the spirits in. I was filled with the peaceful feeling of not being alone and I really enjoyed my time that I spent with the ghosts, and thinking alone about my life and experiences that led me to where I am now. After that I went to my pagan friends house, but what went on there, belongs in the other blog lol.

I hope your Samhain was just as wonderful!

Book Review and Samhain Approaching

2009-10-16T13:45:00.005-05:00

We are now finally entering the true dark time of the year. Where we should focus on our inner selves and take some time to spend in our homes. Therefore I decided to pick up a new "pagan, magick, Wicca" themed book to read during my free time (which due to University, does not actually exist). I picked up "The Way of the Hedge Witch: Rituals and Spells for the Hearth and Home" by Arin Murphy-Hiscock. The book claims that it is going to teach me all about how to prepare food the "magickal way", how to cleanse the house and make the house more "witchy". The author also tosses in some recipes and craft ideas as well. I have not read it yet, but my goal for this dark time of the year instead of focusing solely on myself I want to take this time and focus on where I hang my "broom" aka my house. What will my "Roman Catholic" boyfriend think about this, well he is of a simpler breed and likely wont notice that the house is slowly turning into one giant ritual space! I have no plans in draping my house in pentacles or black cats, though I do live with a very evil black cat; it is going to just have more of a rich, witchy feel. I can already see my broom resting against my fire place, that I am going to completely re-design. I am going to begin the changes next weekend with the painting of my bedroom. I picked out this great blue paint that reminds me of the blue bits of Cotton Candy ice cream. The transformation of my hearth and home, hopefully will aid in my inner transformation. Normally during the waning months of the year I always set a magickal goal for myself. In the past it has been to learn divination, in which I am now a pretty darn good tarot reader, and I can also read tea-leaves and wax drippings. I had a scrying mirror, but the above mentioned little black demon/beast broke it...yesterday. This year I am going to set a simple goal for myself, and all it is, is to just me more spiritual. I seem to have disappeared from the "Pagan Scene" and this has to stop. I have not celebrated a Sabbat since Ostara! I am now going to actually start becoming more Pagan and spiritual and that is going to be my "dark time of the year resolution". I guess we will have to see where that leads too. I would like to see the Pagan Community start coming together once more... I am getting my Wizard friend Matthius, to fix our Port City Pagans Facebook page, because I am admin. under my account: Vaida LaVey but I cannot remember the sign in information! :( Once he changes it I am going to once again have greater access to the page, and there will be more updates, if anyone reading this and lives in the Saint John or surrounding area, sign up!

Blood Moon

2009-10-04T19:33:00.000-06:00

Tonight is the Blood Moon. I wish I was out frolicking in the moon light, but alas it is raining, so I am going to try to remain nice and dry inside. This time of year seems so magical to me, the feeling I get when I step out of my front door and see the coloured leaves that have changed to a similar colour to rust. Or the sensations of the chilled Fall breeze runs its long senewy fingers through your hair. If I take a drive to the country I am greeted with the vibrant colours of reds, yellows and oranges, nature's fireworks; or the scent of wood burning wafting up your nostrils to give you a special treat. I really think this time is very magical indeed. The Blood Moon comes to us to remind us to our harvests, whether they are physical as in a garden or magical like that of taking the time to embrace our inner Crone and become one with the dark mysteries or divination. I really like to sit down with some tea or hot chocolate and read my tarot cards, for some reason as the months get colder and darker I feel more intune with my "other senses". I think that this Thursday I am going to pick up the first of many pumpkins that will transform into Jack-O-Lanterns. I can't wait to roast the seeds in the oven! There all many things you can do to celebrate the Blood Moon, here are some of my ideas: Practice some divination like tarot, scying or by pouring wax into a bowl of clear water and divine the shapes (I don't know what this is called, lol); take walk on the beach and watch the moon rise; you can go pick apples and bake an apple pie; maybe if you are feeling crafty you could pick up some Indian Corn and make a centre piece or something else crafty...Martha Stewart, I am not lol!
No matter what you are doing tonight, I hope it is magical!

Beginnings...

2009-10-03T07:01:00.004-06:00

Welcome to my journey and I hope that through this blog I will reach others on their own spiritual journies. Those of you who follow me with my other blog, "Invisible Monster" know what I am all about, but there is another side of me that does not get to be represented in my other blog, so I have decided to try to manage two blogs, one for the crazy day to day adventures of my personal/ sex life and one for my more hidden magical life. I hope that you enjoy your time here as much as I am going too! I am going to use "The Path of Thunder" blog to write about my magical life and my magical journey. I also plan and will be posting: receipes, spells, tid-bits of information, book and movie reviews, my experiences, tarot and other divination tips and tricks, Sabbat info. and so much more! I plan to write a Pagan Non-Fiction, book on the study of the Craft and how not to be a fluffy bunny.
We shall see where this goes...

See you very soon!
)O(