"Close your eyes and see yourself somewhere that makes you feel happy, you are waiting for the Goddess- enjoy your time in this space- what do you see? What do you hear? Take time to really take in this place as you wait for Bride...."
I'm sitting beside a small pool of ice cold water, there is a small bubbly waterfall filling the pool with clear, cold water. I look in and see myself looking back. The forest is wet and though bare there are sprigs of new life pushing through the crystallized snow. I put my hand into the water and the cold sends a small shock through my fingertips, Winter is still among us, holding on, but we will push through it and into the Spring. I continue to watch as the water rolls down the smooth rocks, swirling into little pools as it continues to flow from some distant lake or snaking stream. The pool is crystal clear and there is still ice around the edges of it. I raise my gaze to the clear blue sky, above me I hear and see birds flying high above the tree tops, oblivious to the cold. I continue to wait by my stream for the Goddess... I can hear footsteps is it Her? Has she finally come, I think to myself. Not this time as the footsteps belong to a lone silver furred wolf. Its green eyes intense. The animal stops for a moment and our eyes meet. Slowly the beast lowers its head as if to say hello and carries on its own journey. For a moment I wonder, if this my familiar, and I determine my animal friend is still to be found. I continue to enjoy my time of meditation and then it happens. I could feel inside my heart this warm and overpowering loving feeling. The pond began to glow with a golden hue, the animals once loud are now quiet- and then I see her. She emerges from the wood and greets me. "I am the Goddess Brighid and you are a daughter on my path." The Goddess comes and sits with me by the pool. We talk about things that have occurred this past Winter, and we discuss the future. She tells me I will begin to grow as the flowers and trees do in the Spring and she also tells me to try to find that creative spark I once had. The Goddess's face is young but stern. She is loving and kind but I fear her slightly. She is stunningly beautiful with red hair that has a golden aura. Her skin is as white as milk. I close my eyes and enjoy her, soaking in her energies.... I do not want to leave this place but I am summoned by the sounds of far off pipe music, the music is getting louder and more upbeat. I can hear pipes and drums and chanting. The music of magic is calling me to wake up, come dance and join the rest of the Imbolc Celebrations....
My mom hosted Imbolc this year. It was her first time writing a ritual herself and to be honest I was at first skeptical. I learned a good lesson that night, never assume. The ritual my mom wrote was by far one of the most personal, beautiful and effective rituals I have ever attended in my whole life. When my mother called the Goddess, I felt the Goddess. I know she was there that night. When my mother called to the Quarters the energy was there it was present. The wording flowed and everything looked so beautiful. She had us (my friend Nicole also attended) make crosses to represent ourselves and what we want help with at the crossroads of life. I made my cross and poured a lot my energy into the spell as I wove it together. It now hangs on my bedroom wall as a constant reminder NOT to let my depression control my life and to not let it ruin my romantic relationship.
Imbolc this year was really magical for me. It was not only super beneficial for me but for my best friend Nicole as well. She lost her father a year or two ago and still has not fully come to terms with her grief. She said at the ritual she finally found some peace and I think the Goddess is calling her to this path. I have never once talked to her about my faith or asked her about her's because I try to keep that aspect of my life private and I save it all for my blog lol. She said that she got a feeling at the ritual that she needs to explore more about Wicca and she wants me to teach her. I said I would teach her but I made it clear that I am more of a Pagan who flirts with the darkside but I would be happy to teach her most of everything I know.
Its interesting that my Christian-Pagan mother has managed to make someone who had no faith in anything suddenly think she found "God" or whatever you want to call it. I have not had an opportunity to really thank my mom for the spiritual experience she provided me with.
I also want to take a moment here to talk about the ritual other than the cross and the meditation. When she blessed the milk and oat cookies for Cakes and Ale my mom actually asked the Goddess to bless the food and then we prayed over it. What a nice feeling it was to share a moment with three ladies as we focused only good things onto the food and drink. The room was set up with each corner had its own altar. All the altars were beautifully decorated with items representing each element. North had a cactus plant and a spider plant, she also had stones out an a candle. East was beautiful she had eagles, birds and dragons set out on the table and many feathers that she had collected over the years. South was the most compelling altar of them all because on it she had a doll that my mom has had since she was 10. Its a Spanish dancing lady and when you look at her the first word that crosses your mind is fire. West was adorned with a vase filled with shells my mom has collected over the years at different beaches around where we live. Everything was so homey and personal. It really brought it to my level. It was amazing. I owe my mom a lot more credit than I give her and she truly is a personification of the Mother Goddess. )O(
Monday, February 7, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Winter- Or Holy Shit its COLD!
I really try to love Winter, I even tell some people its my favourite season, funny though I only seem to say that in the scorching heat of summer. I am currently cursing Old Man Winter for giving us this FREEZING weather, I am sorry but -37 degree C. is a little bit too cold. I am patiently waiting March's return because with March comes Spring. I tell myself all Winter, "Tasha just get to March, come on buddy, just get to March." then I put on three hoodies, mittens, two pairs of pants, a scarf and a hat to climb into my car and travel constant icy roads to work. This is just another typical Maritime Winter, but holy smokes its cold!
During all this frigid weather its hard to think that Imbolc is supposed to be a symbol of hope that Spring is coming. Its hard to think that deep down in the earth, even this very -37 moment, seeds and life is stirring, preparing itself for the coming Spring. Earth is slowly preparing and I probably should be too. I have not planned a thing of Imbolc yet because of this cold. I cannot get myself into the mindset to write a ritual about warmer weather coming. I know this isn't the only thing Imbolc is about, but to me its a pretty big deal. I have read that our ancestors, celebrated Imbolc because they needed a "pick me up" in the middle of the cold Winter season, well I sure could use a pick me up as well, and I call it rum (lol) and speaking of drinking and mirth, this is also the time of Brighid. I would love to make some candles to represent the coming light and warmth and also the inspiration of the Goddess, but due to the extremely cold weather, all shipments of beeswax have been cancelled because the wax was getting damaged from the cold. Even Michael's is against me this year. I know I will come up with something and I know that Brighid will relight those sparks of inspiration sooner or later but if she can't inspire me, at least maybe, just maybe she could talk to the weather Gods and try to convince them to turn up the heat? I gotta cut this short, but I will return with more talk of Imbolc in the coming days.
Stay warm my fellow Canucks! Stay Warm!
During all this frigid weather its hard to think that Imbolc is supposed to be a symbol of hope that Spring is coming. Its hard to think that deep down in the earth, even this very -37 moment, seeds and life is stirring, preparing itself for the coming Spring. Earth is slowly preparing and I probably should be too. I have not planned a thing of Imbolc yet because of this cold. I cannot get myself into the mindset to write a ritual about warmer weather coming. I know this isn't the only thing Imbolc is about, but to me its a pretty big deal. I have read that our ancestors, celebrated Imbolc because they needed a "pick me up" in the middle of the cold Winter season, well I sure could use a pick me up as well, and I call it rum (lol) and speaking of drinking and mirth, this is also the time of Brighid. I would love to make some candles to represent the coming light and warmth and also the inspiration of the Goddess, but due to the extremely cold weather, all shipments of beeswax have been cancelled because the wax was getting damaged from the cold. Even Michael's is against me this year. I know I will come up with something and I know that Brighid will relight those sparks of inspiration sooner or later but if she can't inspire me, at least maybe, just maybe she could talk to the weather Gods and try to convince them to turn up the heat? I gotta cut this short, but I will return with more talk of Imbolc in the coming days.
Stay warm my fellow Canucks! Stay Warm!
Circles
The Gods/Faery Folk truly work in bizarre and mysterious ways...
I had pretty much given up on my faith about two years ago and since then have been searching for some form footing. Finally, as you know if you read this, I have found it. Or at least I hope I have. When I was lost amongst the worlds and trying to figure out where my soul belonged I also ended up losing contact with some people who were vital to my spirituality. Along with those precious people I also lost all of my pentacles and other Craft related jewelery, finally things are coming back full circle.
I actually believed for the past two years my ex had stolen those necklaces to pawn or to be malicious. Turns out they, like my soul were lost. I ended up finding my pentacles a few weeks ago and I am still amused that they have returned. I don't know how I did not find them in the past two years because this whole time they were in my dresser, but I swear I have been in that drawer dozens of times hunting for clothes, and how do you miss a jewellery box sitting with your socks and under-roos? Its like the faeries took them and decided that now that I am back on my path that I deserve to have them. Finding that jewellery box was a wonderful find and it is such a good feeling to once again wear my pentacles. I feel that my craft items are once again calling to me and the energy is still as alive as always. Finding these items really has helped me figure out that, hey I am a witch and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to be draped in black clothing and I don't need to hide behind some "Satanic mask" to protect myself anymore. I am not a Satanist, I am a witch and I am a proud one. Its interesting how things work out like this. Along with this I have also found something more precious, a long lost Pagan friend.
I met Paul years ago, he is the author of the book "Your Enlightened Soul" and he was one of the first "real" witches I have ever met. I met him randomly one day when he gave me a copy of his book and told me to come by his place to see his shop. I went over one afternoon and realized I really got along with this fellow. After countless conversations on the topic of the Occult we realized we were on pretty much the same page. Paul started having rituals at his home and the best thing about him, unlike other Pagans I knew at the time, Paul was not "clique" minded. EVERYONE and I mean everyone, was invited to his rites. He didn't care if you followed this tradition or that tradition or if you were even Pagan he would still open up his home to you. During my time with him he taught me many of the things I still practice to this day, the main one being non-judgemental about the choices my fellow Pagans make. I also met my future Tarot teacher, Ann at one of his famous parties. But Paul being the free spirit that he is, he ended up moving to another city and not telling anyone of his whereabouts. I lost contact and ended up spending a lot more time with Ann.
Well the other day I ended up stumbling upon Paul on Facebook and sent him a message right away, and tomorrow he is coming to visit me! He is back in town and wants to make up for the lost time, which is wonderful. Its going to be so nice to have someone of a like mind to celebrate the seasons and other festivals with. I am hoping that this will cause a ripple effect and other wonderful witches from my past will return as well. I hope to reconnect with Ann and Rowan, my sisters, from a Coven that has disappeared. It would be lovely if we all could reconnect again and celebrate our community together. Who knows what this path will bring my way?
Cheers to lost friends and objects finding their way home.
Blessings to you my readers.
I had pretty much given up on my faith about two years ago and since then have been searching for some form footing. Finally, as you know if you read this, I have found it. Or at least I hope I have. When I was lost amongst the worlds and trying to figure out where my soul belonged I also ended up losing contact with some people who were vital to my spirituality. Along with those precious people I also lost all of my pentacles and other Craft related jewelery, finally things are coming back full circle.
I actually believed for the past two years my ex had stolen those necklaces to pawn or to be malicious. Turns out they, like my soul were lost. I ended up finding my pentacles a few weeks ago and I am still amused that they have returned. I don't know how I did not find them in the past two years because this whole time they were in my dresser, but I swear I have been in that drawer dozens of times hunting for clothes, and how do you miss a jewellery box sitting with your socks and under-roos? Its like the faeries took them and decided that now that I am back on my path that I deserve to have them. Finding that jewellery box was a wonderful find and it is such a good feeling to once again wear my pentacles. I feel that my craft items are once again calling to me and the energy is still as alive as always. Finding these items really has helped me figure out that, hey I am a witch and there is nothing wrong with that. I don't need to be draped in black clothing and I don't need to hide behind some "Satanic mask" to protect myself anymore. I am not a Satanist, I am a witch and I am a proud one. Its interesting how things work out like this. Along with this I have also found something more precious, a long lost Pagan friend.
I met Paul years ago, he is the author of the book "Your Enlightened Soul" and he was one of the first "real" witches I have ever met. I met him randomly one day when he gave me a copy of his book and told me to come by his place to see his shop. I went over one afternoon and realized I really got along with this fellow. After countless conversations on the topic of the Occult we realized we were on pretty much the same page. Paul started having rituals at his home and the best thing about him, unlike other Pagans I knew at the time, Paul was not "clique" minded. EVERYONE and I mean everyone, was invited to his rites. He didn't care if you followed this tradition or that tradition or if you were even Pagan he would still open up his home to you. During my time with him he taught me many of the things I still practice to this day, the main one being non-judgemental about the choices my fellow Pagans make. I also met my future Tarot teacher, Ann at one of his famous parties. But Paul being the free spirit that he is, he ended up moving to another city and not telling anyone of his whereabouts. I lost contact and ended up spending a lot more time with Ann.
Well the other day I ended up stumbling upon Paul on Facebook and sent him a message right away, and tomorrow he is coming to visit me! He is back in town and wants to make up for the lost time, which is wonderful. Its going to be so nice to have someone of a like mind to celebrate the seasons and other festivals with. I am hoping that this will cause a ripple effect and other wonderful witches from my past will return as well. I hope to reconnect with Ann and Rowan, my sisters, from a Coven that has disappeared. It would be lovely if we all could reconnect again and celebrate our community together. Who knows what this path will bring my way?
Cheers to lost friends and objects finding their way home.
Blessings to you my readers.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wolf Moon Healing Ritual for the Mind and Body
My aunt is currently recovering from an operation and since tonight is the Full Moon, I thought what would be a better time than now to write a ritual to help aid her with her healing. Sadly due to work I will not be able to actually perform the ritual until Saturday or Sunday night but it still should be effective by then.
Full Moon Healing Ritual, January 19, 2011:
Casting Circle:
East: I call to the powers of the East Quarter. Spirits of air and all that communicates, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Yellow Candle*
South: I call to the powers of the South Quarter. Spirits of fire and all that is passionate, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Red Candle:
West: I call to the powers of the West Quarter. Spirits of water and all that is emotional, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Blue Candle*
North: I call to the powers of the North Quarter. Spirits of earth and all that is bountiful, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Brown Candle*
Call to the Goddess:
Great Mother, keeper of my secrets and those of the universe, please come and join me tonight on this cold Winter's eve. I come before you as your daughter, Vaida and ask that you fill my heart and spirit with your Ecstasy. Great Mother, share with me the energy of magick. I am your daughter as you are forever my mother. Blessed Be. *Light Silver Candle*
Magickal Working:
Needs: Blue candle, candle holder, lighter, oil associated with healing (I have premixed healing oil but you can use whatever you want, if you are interested in using this spell).
Carve the person who needs the healing's name into the candle. It is VERY important that you focus really hard and picture the person who needs the healing in your mind. See them receiving healing energy and it glowing around them. See them getting out of bed/or just moving around healthy and happy. Hold on to those thoughts/images as you hold the candle in your hands. Once you feel the energy infusing the candle place it in the holder because it is ready.
"Goddess, on this night of the Full Moon, I come to you for help. Not for myself but for another. (State the sick person's name and whats going on, in my case): Please help my aunt Donna/Lady Isis heal after her surgery. Please heal her wounds and ease her pain. Please bless her and keep her healthy and close to your heart as she is weak right now. Tonight I come before you with this simple spell so that once this candle is blessed and lit it will send healing energy to her and make her have a quick recovery. Blessed be"
Thank the Goddess in your own words.
Bless candle:
Take oil and rub in over the person's name. "I bless this candle with healing oil so that as it burns its healing properties will be sent to the universe and they will infuse Donna's spirit with their healing energies. Blessed be."
Put candle in holder and light it, either let it burn down completely or you can infuse it with new energy and re-light it daily.
"Thank you Goddess and spirits of the elements for you help with this magick. Blessed Be."
Closing of the rite:
Take time here to read the Charge of the Goddess or something you have written. Talk to the Goddess and the spirits, enjoy this time in the sacred circle. If you raised energy during the healing spell, take time now to ground it. Think of the energy that is still floating in the room, grab it into big orbs in your hands then push that energy down into the floor, though the foundation and into the ground below your home. (Where I live its FREEZING on January evenings, so this rite will 100% be inside.)
Cakes and Ale:
Hold Chalice high: "May I never thirst" take a drink and put chalice aside (pour remaining liquid outside as an offering.
Take Plate and hold high: "May I never hunger" take a cake from the plate and leave the others as an offering with the ale.
Closing Circle:
Releasing the Goddess:
"Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for coming to my side this evening and sharing with me the secrets of magick. Tonight is a celebration of your beauty and the love that you shine down upon this world. You may go if you like or stay if you please. Blessed Be."
North: Thank you spirits of the North for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Brown Candle*
West: Thank you spirits of the West for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Blue Candle*
South: Thank you spirits of the South for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Red Candle*
East: Thank you spirits of the East for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Yellow Candle*
"The circle is open but never broken, Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry Meet Again! So Mote It Be!"
Gather up your things and if you decided to let the candle burn down this evening put it somewhere safe and once it has burned all the way down, if the person you are healing is okay with it give them the candle stub, this will act as a reminder that they are loved and it will reinforce the spell. If you decided to let it burn down in parts, make sure to light it the same time everyday and to infuse it with energy each time. Then once its burned down give it to the person. If the person you are healing does not want it, or does not know you are working a spell for them then you can keep the stub yourself to remind you to send them healing vibes when you see it. Then in the Spring (once all this snow is gone!) you can bury it in your yard.
Happy Healing and Happy Wolf Moon! )O(
Full Moon Healing Ritual, January 19, 2011:
Casting Circle:
East: I call to the powers of the East Quarter. Spirits of air and all that communicates, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Yellow Candle*
South: I call to the powers of the South Quarter. Spirits of fire and all that is passionate, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Red Candle:
West: I call to the powers of the West Quarter. Spirits of water and all that is emotional, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Blue Candle*
North: I call to the powers of the North Quarter. Spirits of earth and all that is bountiful, please hear my call and join me on this blessed night to celebrate the Goddess. Blessed Be. *Light Brown Candle*
Call to the Goddess:
Great Mother, keeper of my secrets and those of the universe, please come and join me tonight on this cold Winter's eve. I come before you as your daughter, Vaida and ask that you fill my heart and spirit with your Ecstasy. Great Mother, share with me the energy of magick. I am your daughter as you are forever my mother. Blessed Be. *Light Silver Candle*
Magickal Working:
Needs: Blue candle, candle holder, lighter, oil associated with healing (I have premixed healing oil but you can use whatever you want, if you are interested in using this spell).
Carve the person who needs the healing's name into the candle. It is VERY important that you focus really hard and picture the person who needs the healing in your mind. See them receiving healing energy and it glowing around them. See them getting out of bed/or just moving around healthy and happy. Hold on to those thoughts/images as you hold the candle in your hands. Once you feel the energy infusing the candle place it in the holder because it is ready.
"Goddess, on this night of the Full Moon, I come to you for help. Not for myself but for another. (State the sick person's name and whats going on, in my case): Please help my aunt Donna/Lady Isis heal after her surgery. Please heal her wounds and ease her pain. Please bless her and keep her healthy and close to your heart as she is weak right now. Tonight I come before you with this simple spell so that once this candle is blessed and lit it will send healing energy to her and make her have a quick recovery. Blessed be"
Thank the Goddess in your own words.
Bless candle:
Take oil and rub in over the person's name. "I bless this candle with healing oil so that as it burns its healing properties will be sent to the universe and they will infuse Donna's spirit with their healing energies. Blessed be."
Put candle in holder and light it, either let it burn down completely or you can infuse it with new energy and re-light it daily.
"Thank you Goddess and spirits of the elements for you help with this magick. Blessed Be."
Closing of the rite:
Take time here to read the Charge of the Goddess or something you have written. Talk to the Goddess and the spirits, enjoy this time in the sacred circle. If you raised energy during the healing spell, take time now to ground it. Think of the energy that is still floating in the room, grab it into big orbs in your hands then push that energy down into the floor, though the foundation and into the ground below your home. (Where I live its FREEZING on January evenings, so this rite will 100% be inside.)
Cakes and Ale:
Hold Chalice high: "May I never thirst" take a drink and put chalice aside (pour remaining liquid outside as an offering.
Take Plate and hold high: "May I never hunger" take a cake from the plate and leave the others as an offering with the ale.
Closing Circle:
Releasing the Goddess:
"Great Goddess, Mother of us all, thank you for coming to my side this evening and sharing with me the secrets of magick. Tonight is a celebration of your beauty and the love that you shine down upon this world. You may go if you like or stay if you please. Blessed Be."
North: Thank you spirits of the North for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Brown Candle*
West: Thank you spirits of the West for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Blue Candle*
South: Thank you spirits of the South for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Red Candle*
East: Thank you spirits of the East for sharing your energy tonight, you are released. *Snuff Yellow Candle*
"The circle is open but never broken, Merry Meet, Merry Part and Merry Meet Again! So Mote It Be!"
Gather up your things and if you decided to let the candle burn down this evening put it somewhere safe and once it has burned all the way down, if the person you are healing is okay with it give them the candle stub, this will act as a reminder that they are loved and it will reinforce the spell. If you decided to let it burn down in parts, make sure to light it the same time everyday and to infuse it with energy each time. Then once its burned down give it to the person. If the person you are healing does not want it, or does not know you are working a spell for them then you can keep the stub yourself to remind you to send them healing vibes when you see it. Then in the Spring (once all this snow is gone!) you can bury it in your yard.
Happy Healing and Happy Wolf Moon! )O(
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
My Satanic Adventure- Into the depths of "darkness".
As you my dear readers may know I have been studying Satanism for quite some time. I have even considered joining the First Church of Satan, but after much thought, reading countless articles and even purchasing a magazine from the Church, I have learned that perhaps that is not the place for me. I am still going to bring along on my journey the wonderful things I did learn from reading the Satanic Bible and other works by LaVey but I think my feet would be better planted on my own form of the Left Hand Path.
I have been looking for a "leader/teacher" but I have come to terms that I can be both of those things for myself and other people. I have been taking a lot of time to study the Left Hand Path and I learned a lot of very valuable pieces of information. Basically every religion has a "left hand path" version of it. In India there are Hindus who practice and inverted form of Hinduism that is all about breaking sexual taboos and finding enlightenment by breaking the strict religious/social norms. There are people all over the world like myself who truly find their inner light in the darkness and there is nothing wrong with that.
Its very nice as a pretty much solitary witch to find out it is okay that I am a little darker of a spirit than my fellow happy go lucky witches; though I don't think there is a person on this earth who isn't a little "dark at heart". Sadly there are those of us who know how to control their "darkness" and live normal lives and then there are those who don't and they let their own "darkness" build up inside until they can no longer control it, and when they decide to stop being so pompous and let it out horrible things can happen. Let me tell you a little story about someone who ran around thinking she was "so innocent and on the "right hand path"- if you will.
Once upon a time many moons ago, a very dangerous and crazy woman, who claimed to be a "connection to the Goddess herself" told me that I am a "dark witch" and that apparently I am the Pagan version of something as evil as the "Anti-Christ". Shakti which is the name of the crazy lady had a whole intervention for me. She had her friend and fellow sheep have everyone over for what *I thought* was a night to learn about the "dark Goddess" instead of learning about the "dark Goddess" she spent the whole time bashing me for believing and worshipping the darker gods. As she did this all her little "white witches" joined in heckling me and making me break down and cry about the grief I was going through at that time. She had the nerve to say I was using my grief (my uncle and grandfather passed away that year a week apart) as a scapegoat for my true evilness. The whole thing was a farce.
My point is that if you, dear reader, have found love with the dark Gods, don't EVER let anyone who thinks they are righteous because they are on the "right hand path" ever tell you, you are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being darker then your peers. There is nothing wrong with finding love and light in the blackness of the abyss.
I have shared this story before, but I think its very important for people to understand that if anyone EVER tries to convince you that what you feel and believe in is wrong, especially when it comes to our beloved Gods, don't ever let them. For a few months after that "intervention" I was left questioning myself and my choices. I wondered, what was wrong with me. Why didn't these people like me? Then I realized they were afraid because ultimately I was more spiritually connected to the Divine because I was balanced. I don't think I will mention the Shakti story after this last time, because I need to let it go and move on with my own life, but its definitely something I would like all my readers to think about. Be yourself and believe in yourself.
Love,
Vaida.
I have been looking for a "leader/teacher" but I have come to terms that I can be both of those things for myself and other people. I have been taking a lot of time to study the Left Hand Path and I learned a lot of very valuable pieces of information. Basically every religion has a "left hand path" version of it. In India there are Hindus who practice and inverted form of Hinduism that is all about breaking sexual taboos and finding enlightenment by breaking the strict religious/social norms. There are people all over the world like myself who truly find their inner light in the darkness and there is nothing wrong with that.
Its very nice as a pretty much solitary witch to find out it is okay that I am a little darker of a spirit than my fellow happy go lucky witches; though I don't think there is a person on this earth who isn't a little "dark at heart". Sadly there are those of us who know how to control their "darkness" and live normal lives and then there are those who don't and they let their own "darkness" build up inside until they can no longer control it, and when they decide to stop being so pompous and let it out horrible things can happen. Let me tell you a little story about someone who ran around thinking she was "so innocent and on the "right hand path"- if you will.
Once upon a time many moons ago, a very dangerous and crazy woman, who claimed to be a "connection to the Goddess herself" told me that I am a "dark witch" and that apparently I am the Pagan version of something as evil as the "Anti-Christ". Shakti which is the name of the crazy lady had a whole intervention for me. She had her friend and fellow sheep have everyone over for what *I thought* was a night to learn about the "dark Goddess" instead of learning about the "dark Goddess" she spent the whole time bashing me for believing and worshipping the darker gods. As she did this all her little "white witches" joined in heckling me and making me break down and cry about the grief I was going through at that time. She had the nerve to say I was using my grief (my uncle and grandfather passed away that year a week apart) as a scapegoat for my true evilness. The whole thing was a farce.
My point is that if you, dear reader, have found love with the dark Gods, don't EVER let anyone who thinks they are righteous because they are on the "right hand path" ever tell you, you are wrong. There is nothing wrong with being darker then your peers. There is nothing wrong with finding love and light in the blackness of the abyss.
I have shared this story before, but I think its very important for people to understand that if anyone EVER tries to convince you that what you feel and believe in is wrong, especially when it comes to our beloved Gods, don't ever let them. For a few months after that "intervention" I was left questioning myself and my choices. I wondered, what was wrong with me. Why didn't these people like me? Then I realized they were afraid because ultimately I was more spiritually connected to the Divine because I was balanced. I don't think I will mention the Shakti story after this last time, because I need to let it go and move on with my own life, but its definitely something I would like all my readers to think about. Be yourself and believe in yourself.
Love,
Vaida.
A Divine Message of HOPE
Hello gentle readers! I know it has been a long time since you heard from me, hopefully *this time* I will be able to keep my word and post more often. I have to be honest, I started a new blog on livejournal but I am not computer/internet savvy enough to use it, so here I am back home on Blogger.
I am writing tonight because last night I was inspired by what I think was the Divine. I was driving to my house after driving some co-worker friends of mine home and I was thinking about how much my life has changed since Nathan left two years ago and since I left my long-term position at the funeral home. Since those life changes I have been focusing on how much my life has changed without those two things. I have never seen it as a cutting away of the negative so positive energy could thrive, I have spent way too much time dwelling on the negative. At this point in my thought process, I had arrived in my driveway and as I sat there thinking poorly about my life and how bad things were, suddenly this voice inside my head said to me, "Tasha if you would stop fabricating a perfect past you would see that you are happier now." I don't know if it was the hoot that I smoked with my co-workers or if it was the Divine or my own "inside my head" voice, regardless whoever it was they were right. I realized last night sitting stunned and cold in my Tiberon that I have been lying to myself for the past two years.
The funeral home compared to Xerox was horrible. Every Christmas at Brenan's I would have to deal with the staff/management making rude jokes about my faith. They knew my financial struggles and I always worked hard yet they would not offer me more hours. I worked my little witchy ass off there for them and never once was there a genuine thank you.
At my job now at least I get the satisfaction of hearing thank you about 60 times a day. Yes I get yelled at but at least I am appreciated. Also I can afford to live now and pay my bills. I am allowed to book Pagan holidays off here without being made fun of. One of the best things about Xerox is that I can wear as many Pentacles as I please and no one says boo to me. No more being made fun of or treated differently because here they just don't care and its wonderful.
My life with Nathan was miserable and I hated being in that relationship, but for some reason I would not allow myself to see what I would not have now if he would have stayed. I would not be in this amazingly romantic and passionate relationship nor would I have the things I have, or the car that I drive. I would not look the way I look and I know if he would have stayed by now I would be 300lbs instead of being the same weight I was in high school, like I am now. I never cared about myself and I didn't know myself two years ago. Now I know the real me, of course I am still on my ongoing journey but at least this time, I love the skin I am walking in.
Last night when I heard that voice in my head I felt an inner peace that I have not felt in a very long time. It was that same feeling when you get out of the tub and your mom has warmed the towels up in the dryer- a warm surrounded by love feeling and it was fantastic. Not only did the Divine speak to me but they/it made me feel the message and I think for once in my life, I got it.
From yesterday forward I have stopped pitying myself every time I drive past Brenan's on my way to Xerox, instead I thank the Gods for giving me a good job that is secure, where I am appreciated. When I think about times with Nathan who was a complete and total PSYCHO with a capital "P" (lol) I think about how amazingly handsome and sexy Kyle is. How good he makes me feel and how he has done more for me in the past year and a half than Nathan ever did in the 6 years we were together. By changing my thoughts I really do feel like I have changed my life. Finally.
This is the mark of a new turn of the wheel that is my life and I am so happy to be walking into 2011 with a renewed sense of hope. Hope for 2011 and beyond, hope that I will find my feet back on the path that I walked for many years and kinda got lost on; hope that I continue to do well in a mundane and psychic/spiritual sense. I would like to welcome you readers, to my 2011 blog. I think herein you will learn a lot about me and of course the Occult in its many forms. Welcome and I really HOPE you too will be able to shed the skin of the past years and embrace the light that is waiting for you.
Blessings!
Vaida
I am writing tonight because last night I was inspired by what I think was the Divine. I was driving to my house after driving some co-worker friends of mine home and I was thinking about how much my life has changed since Nathan left two years ago and since I left my long-term position at the funeral home. Since those life changes I have been focusing on how much my life has changed without those two things. I have never seen it as a cutting away of the negative so positive energy could thrive, I have spent way too much time dwelling on the negative. At this point in my thought process, I had arrived in my driveway and as I sat there thinking poorly about my life and how bad things were, suddenly this voice inside my head said to me, "Tasha if you would stop fabricating a perfect past you would see that you are happier now." I don't know if it was the hoot that I smoked with my co-workers or if it was the Divine or my own "inside my head" voice, regardless whoever it was they were right. I realized last night sitting stunned and cold in my Tiberon that I have been lying to myself for the past two years.
The funeral home compared to Xerox was horrible. Every Christmas at Brenan's I would have to deal with the staff/management making rude jokes about my faith. They knew my financial struggles and I always worked hard yet they would not offer me more hours. I worked my little witchy ass off there for them and never once was there a genuine thank you.
At my job now at least I get the satisfaction of hearing thank you about 60 times a day. Yes I get yelled at but at least I am appreciated. Also I can afford to live now and pay my bills. I am allowed to book Pagan holidays off here without being made fun of. One of the best things about Xerox is that I can wear as many Pentacles as I please and no one says boo to me. No more being made fun of or treated differently because here they just don't care and its wonderful.
My life with Nathan was miserable and I hated being in that relationship, but for some reason I would not allow myself to see what I would not have now if he would have stayed. I would not be in this amazingly romantic and passionate relationship nor would I have the things I have, or the car that I drive. I would not look the way I look and I know if he would have stayed by now I would be 300lbs instead of being the same weight I was in high school, like I am now. I never cared about myself and I didn't know myself two years ago. Now I know the real me, of course I am still on my ongoing journey but at least this time, I love the skin I am walking in.
Last night when I heard that voice in my head I felt an inner peace that I have not felt in a very long time. It was that same feeling when you get out of the tub and your mom has warmed the towels up in the dryer- a warm surrounded by love feeling and it was fantastic. Not only did the Divine speak to me but they/it made me feel the message and I think for once in my life, I got it.
From yesterday forward I have stopped pitying myself every time I drive past Brenan's on my way to Xerox, instead I thank the Gods for giving me a good job that is secure, where I am appreciated. When I think about times with Nathan who was a complete and total PSYCHO with a capital "P" (lol) I think about how amazingly handsome and sexy Kyle is. How good he makes me feel and how he has done more for me in the past year and a half than Nathan ever did in the 6 years we were together. By changing my thoughts I really do feel like I have changed my life. Finally.
This is the mark of a new turn of the wheel that is my life and I am so happy to be walking into 2011 with a renewed sense of hope. Hope for 2011 and beyond, hope that I will find my feet back on the path that I walked for many years and kinda got lost on; hope that I continue to do well in a mundane and psychic/spiritual sense. I would like to welcome you readers, to my 2011 blog. I think herein you will learn a lot about me and of course the Occult in its many forms. Welcome and I really HOPE you too will be able to shed the skin of the past years and embrace the light that is waiting for you.
Blessings!
Vaida
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Update
Well...I am not one to brag about magick, but I GOT A NEW JOB! I have been hired on at Xerox, full time, weekly pay and fairly good money, well it will be at least enough to keep me afloat and give me some spending money which is AWESOME! You know I have been working some magick and praying pretty hard to my divine parents and you know, they really do provide. Sure Xerox is definitely not my "dream job" and its not going to make me dirty rich but you know the Rolling Stones song that goes a little like this, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you just might find that you get what you need..." well that pretty much sums up my life right now and that's perfect because I am so grateful to them and the universe for what they have given me in this life and it is so reassuring to know that ma and pa "upstairs" are still taking care of their daughter. I love Them, I love Them, I love Them!
Blessed Be and Goodnight!!
Love Always...Vaida
Blessed Be and Goodnight!!
Love Always...Vaida
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